Break!

It’s Papa’s birthday!!!

 

Last year, he celebrated his 54th birthday at the ICU of AFP Gen Hosp fighting for his life, now he is with God, watching over us.

 

Pa, I miss you so much. I wanna thank you for giving me my life. I owe what I am today to you. You will be greatly remembered.

I LOVE YOU!

Angry? Try this…

I.AM.ANGRY!!!

I know I have a problem with anger management sometimes. I seldom get mad because I am a very patient person, but when I do prepare yourself for my rage of fury.

 

I don’t know when it started, all I know is that I am not like that before. I only cry in one corner, silently until I fall asleep. I still do it now. I still cry silently. My husband in fact admires me for that. He said it’s a talent to cry without a lil bit of sound. And I honestly can! You’ll just see uncontrollable tears welling in my eyes, and not an emotion on my face. The only difference is, these days, when I get mad, I have to break something or hit someone.

So my husband knows it. Whenever I cry he would say, “Hany, not the plates pls. Dito na lang, basta isa lang ha!”, while pointing to his triceps. And me with all my strength will throw that one punch-big time! And that’s it. Weird? Yes, I know. I know it’s psychological but whenever I tried to avoid it, i hyperventilate.

 

I am thankful that my husband is very supportive and I hope that he doesn’t get tired of me. God knows I want to change and how much I am working on it.  In fact I want to visit one of these plate-smashing restaurants. One of the originals is Sarah’s Smash Shack located in San Diego, CA. She charges $10 & up for a 15-minutes rage. And good news, we have a local version! A Mayan/Aztec themed floating restaurant named Isdaan Restaurant in Gerona, Tarlac offers the same concept for Php 15 and up.  They have the “Tacsiyapo Wall” where you can smash plates, cups, drinking glasses, even televisions! You just write the names of the people you hate and smash it on the wall while shouting “tacsiyapo” on top of your lungs. By the way “tacsiyapo” means “walanghiya/bwiset” in Kapampangan. Wow! That must feel so good. I can’t wait to visit that restaurant. I think I’m gonna used up a whole dining set. Cheaper way of therapy anyway, so for all of you who have the same problem as I do, see you there and smash those!

Yellow vs. Green

No, I am not talking about bananas nor mangoes. Not even traffic lights, this is about pizza!

Yellow Cab, one of my fave pizza place sued local Green Cab thru Intellectual Property Office ,of infringement and copying their trademark . The complaint was brought about by numerous calls received by Yellow Cab asking if they are somehow affiliated with Green Cab.

Read this for more info.

Whenever we crave for pizza and the budget is tight, we go for Green Cab. The first time i knew about the place was 2004 when I was in Valley 1, Pque. A college classmate bought us one while we were working on a school poject. It was okay, only it is not comparable to Yellow Cab of course. But i told myself if there will be a branch near us, I will go for it because the price is reasonable and it also tastes like pizza., not a Yellow Cab pizza though. But it doesn’t matter, sometimes I am after the price.

Then sometime in 2006, I was given a Green Cab flyer. When I got home, and saw the picture of the pizza I tried the number. Somebody answered, “Police Station”. I hung up and dialed again. Same answer. I looked at the number and see if I had made a mistake. The number was correct so I tried again. Same answer. So I asked, “Is this Green Cab?” She answered, “Sorry ma’am, may nanloloko po kasi!”. I was irritated. I said, “Is that the way you answer the phone. That’s a business phone in a business place. Wala ba kayong caller ID?”. She said, “Wala ma’am, sorry po, oorder kayo?” . I said NO and just said bye. I just dialled 911.11.11 and you know who answered. And, I got my pizza in 30 minutes, hot and steaming.

Bottomline, GC is far,far,far comparable to the original YC. Only “stupid people” (sorry for the word) will think that it is an affiliate of YC. YC also, having numerous branches will be stupidier to branch out under a “different color” isn’t it?

But anyway, the court already gave out the ruling and GC was ordered to pay the amount of Php300,000 for damages. For GC which is just a small business compared to YC, that costs a branch.

Lesson learned, we must always think of originality. Or pay the price.

I’m Back…

I have been dwelling in the past for the past few weeks since dad died. Maybe because I am a daddy’s girl and to think that last Sept 30 was my very first birthday without him. I was used to talking to him in the morning about current events, if he had taken his meds and the menu for the day. Sadly I haven’t been doing those for the last 45 days. Sigh* Sigh…

 

And just this morning as I was having for usual daydream and reminiscin’ of those happy days with him, my daughter came up to me wanting to play. As usual I wasn’t in the mood to play with her. She then grabbed her toys and played alone, laughing by herself. I just watched her. And she looked at me handing me the ball saying, “mommy, catch!”. It was then that I realized, I am losing time for my kids. I have to move on  and pick up my senses.

 

So I got the ball and played with her. I turned on the TV for morning news and just in time, it was Ogie Diaz’s showbiz news segment where he sings “Locomotion”. Xelynah got up and danced like Ogie! I was surprised/amazed and sad at the same time that she learned that from the TV instead of me teaching her those things. I just hugged and kissed her.  I so miss my baby!

 

So I told myself, no more crying. Time to be with my family and gather my senses again. I barely slept because I played the whole day with her. We need some catching up to do.

Can’t move on…

It has already been a week. Our house’s ambience is no longer the same. I was so used to a lot of things when it comes to Papa. Everyday when I get home from work, he would be in the garage reading his favorite tabloids, Bulgar-People’s Tonight-Abante Tonite-PSN. Yeah, he reads lots of newspapers everyday coz that is all he does all day. I would ask him if he had already eaten, and then I would check his blood pressure and pulse rate before I go to sleep. I’m his caregiver.

After lunch, he would wake me up so I can check his vital signs again before he go for a siesta. He would remind me also of his merienda before i go back to sleep. At 6pm, I would do a blood-glucose monitoring just before he take his dinner.

That was my routine for the last 2 months that Papa has been home. And now, I miss those things. I miss the way Papa would check on us if Xelynah is already sleeping, why Xelynah is crying or who is takin’ care of her. I miss the way he asks for money/load, how he wanted to go to MOA, the looks on his face when I bought him the “ka-cheap-an Iphone” that he liked, whenever we play “pusoy”, whenever he craved for pizza  in the middle of the might, whenever he txt me for a bucket of chickenjoy, etc. I will surely miss those things.

During his wake, i had a lot questions in mind. There were my lolos, super old, with canes and on wheelchairs and yet they are still alive. My Papa was just 54, so young they say. And I realized, life is too short. We just hope that we made him happy for those two months that he was home, out of the hospital bed.

I still can’t move on. I wanna move out of the house as his memories for 20 yrs were there. Call me papa’s girl, but yeah I was. The whole house is full of melancholy. To ease the pain, we still do our morning chit-chats over coffee and cigarettes in front of his pix as if he is still there. We still get him newspapers and his favorite “lakatan”.

I so miss you Papa.  Why didn’t you give in that easily? I still can spend for you meds, your hospitalization. The government which you had served for more than half your life may not be there for you but we, your family will always be there for you.  You are the reason why I’m working my ass to the limit, why I take those cussin’ and cursin’ of those foreigners with a smile. You’re the reason why I am fightin’.

Now I feel like I am left alone. I just wish you are here. To hold my hand when I am weary, to caress my hair when I am tired. Pa, thank you for being in my dream last night. Why not do it every night? It’s okay.

 

See you in my dreams Pa. I love you.

… For the BEST DAD…

My father’s battle with his heart ailment ended last Aug 28, 2008. It has been a year and a half since he was first diagnosed with clogged arteries. Treatment after treatment we were hoping he would get overcome it. And then he was scheduled for triple bypass, which never happened…

 

Jan 2007, while he was undergoing routine check-up for re-enlistment to the Philippine Navy, his ECG showed something. It indicated clogged arteries, which part? , they don’t know. He was advised to undergo series of tests including treadmill stress test and coronary angiogram. He was confined at Manila Naval Hospital for close monitoring also because one thing to look into is his being diabetic which makes him ischaemic. He can’t be left alone. He is at risk of heart attack anytime  and any attack will be “painless” which will lead him to think that “he is just having difficulty breathing”. He may not know if he is already having an attack.

 

June 2007. He got out of MNH while we were raising the fund needed for the angiogram. He looked normal and healthy. Only, he was still drinking and smoking,  things that he was prevented from.

 

October 6, 2008. His first attack. He never recovered from it. It was accompanied by pneumonia which made it harder because fluid accumulates in his lungs whenever he is having attack. He spent 2 weeks in the ICU of AFP Gen Hospital. He also celebrated his 53rd birthday at the ICU. 

 

Christmas, New Year, birthdays. He was not with us, though we took time to visit him at the hospital every now and then.

 

Feb 2008. His angiogram showed  3 clogged arteries. He needed triple bypass. Request for funding was filed as soon as we learned about it. From Php 700k+, cost went down to Php481k. And yet the government was so slow.

 

June 30, 2008. He went home. The hospital said that we will just wait for the operation. We just need to maintain medication, and monitor his diet. We were a happy family (minus Mama) the whole two  months. We were extra careful in taking care of him. Medicines and the his meals were closely monitored. We cannot afford to make a slight mistake. We thought it would last long until that fateful morning when he left us.

 

Aug 28, 2008.

3am. I woke up and ate breakfast coz I didn’t ate dinner. When I saw him curled up I asked him if he’s okay. He said yes. I told him if he was cold I’d turn off the A/C. He said he’s okay.

4am. While I was watching TV, I heard him called my brother. He was having an attack.  I ran to him and asked if he had taken all his med. He said yes. I took his BP. It was already relapsing. I was already expecting the worst. My brother called a cab, it was just 5 minutes. Sadly he didn’t make it to the hospital. He was pronounced DOA due to myocardial infarction.

 

I almost died too. Tears were overflowing. I couldn’t accept the fact that the government which he served for 31 long years didn’t help him in his operation. For the last 31 years, we, his family had been his second priority. His motto was always, country first. And then, during those times of difficulties the country and the gorvernment weren’t there for him. He was left all alone.

 

But what can we do? Past is past. I know that Papa would want me to be strong for my family. I just hope that they did something.

 

To Papa…. wherever you are, please continue to watch over us. We love you and we will miss you.

 

Until we meet again…

WTF are they doing in the US of A?!@#$%

The country has been thru a lot lately. Typhoon Frank has done a lot of damage all throughout the country and there is also the sea tragedy of M/V Princess of the Stars owned by Sulpicio Lines. Frank has left a lof of Filipinos homeless, foodless and some even died.

And there was this Sulpicio-owned vessel that sunked near Sibuyan Island, it has almost 800 passengers, some of them children. God have mercy on them!

The Philippines was totally lambasted by those two mishaps
in a couple of days.

And…..

… Madame President and some 60 solons are in the Land of Milk and Honey doing some “junket” in which they claim would invite more investors in the Philippines! Bravo. Bravo. Bravo. I say, syeeet!

While the Filipinos are perishing from lack of assistance here, there they are for a junket which is just a formal translation of “lakwatsa”. Now i know where my taxes are going! The last thing I heard, they are gonna stay up until the end of the month for the Pacquiao-diaz bout.  Ang kakapal! Grrrrrrr!

Why don’t they just go home and help the people here? I watched the video conference with the people from Marina and Coast Guard and it was funny. It’s just like reprimanding someone thru sms. Walang dating!

This is not the kind of government we want to have.  Their lavish lifestyles not thinking about the state of the people they left here, just sucks! They can also attract investors while here right? If they were able to do the video conference from the US to here, why can’t they do it from here to US? Or is it just an alibi to go the US for the Pacquia-Diaz bout at the expense of the taxpayers? A lady senator is already ranting on this matter and she even suggested that these solons donate their 2-month salary to the victims.  Well that would somehow appease some of the observants especially a very vocal bishop.

Well anyway, this is just my 2 cents. But hopefully it gets to their nerve. Coz i am so pissed off the way things are going.

Wake up people!

 

on LOSIN’ WEIGHT… (a lot of it!)

I have been battling weight gain for years already. And if I saved all the money I spent on those food supplements I can already afford a liposuction. Geez, had I known I just did it way back! ( At the back of mind I’m scared of the thought of it hahahaha!)

During my high school days, I never had a problem with my figure. Maybe because I was active then. I was a volleyball varsity player and a member of the barangay dance troupe so all my muscles and fats were like, stretched and burned to the highest level! Oh I so missed those days. Sigh.

And then, college came. I met San Mig. And sisig. And crispy pata. Eveything fatty. No more volleyball games coz my freak boyfriend then wouldn’t allow me to wear shorts. ( Stupid diba? ) And I was stupidier for following him, I know! Anyway, I was also boarding a dorm way back so my breakfast, lunch and dinner composed of fastfoods like cheeseburger & fries, pizza & pasta and chips & soda. Not to mention the almost-nightly bar-hopping. You know, things you do when you have all the independence. And then started my weight problems.  I would constantly resort to crash diets.

My crash diet would mean, Marlboro lights & iced tea, or if I’m in the mood to munch, crackers & iced tea. I used to do that if we have a night out and an outfit won’t fit me. It was so tedious.

I wasn’t that big though, my problem is that my thighs are so big they would call it “pata”. And then I gave birth to my eldest. I breastfed him for 8 months and I lost all the weight I gained since college. It seemed like my body was that of a 6th grader.

Well as they say some good things never last. When I took oral contraceptive, I started to gain weight again. And I was already freakin’ out coz I was starting to look “losyang” at a young age of 20! OMG. But mom said it’s in the genes so I just let it be. I would lose, I would gain. That’s just it. I told myself I need to get pregnant again coz I know that i would lose weight when I breastfeed. and I swear, I’m gonna maintain it, I swear.

April 2005, I lost weight without effort. How? I contracted pneumonitis (pre-cursor to pneumonia) and I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. I had to stop smoking then and I stayed away from smokers. I think I lost about 10 kgs then. But then again some good things never last, i gained weight again.

Until June 2006, I chanced upon a book, Dr. Robert Atkin’s Diet. I bought the book and followed everything that’s in there by heart. No carbs, no sugar. I did it for 3 long months and I was successful. So successful that they were already asking what i am doing to lose that amount of weight. I was so proud. I can already wear tank tops without blazers, short shorts. I already bought a whole wardrobe yata of new clothes.

Downfall? I got pregnant. And I gained weight again. Arrggh! Can you feel the struggle? And so my life was again back to fastfoods and sodas and chips and i became as big as Dabiana. Ewww! Anyway, I’ll breastfeed the baby, I said. and I’m gonna lose all of these.

So I gave birth. The weight loss was not that much and I was wondering. Lola said, ” Iba-iba ang pagbubuntis”. And all I could say was, OMG. And so I can no longer control it. And I was doomed to be fat forever.

But my husband is not giving up on me. He would give me money whenever I see something on TV for weight loss. Enough on the chinese-slimming-ekek, I’ll try the commercial supplements this time.  I tried this green capsule which is being endorsed by Ploning. It was to be taken 3x a day. It’s a fat-burner and you have to take it after meal and it works best before 4pm. I can feel the change naman. Only, since I work on a graveyard shift, taking it before 4pm is not applicable because I am asleep from 6am to 4pm. Although “it works best” on my days-off coz you will really sweat to the max. And all my abdominal fats has loosen so I need extra work-out on that. Anyway, not the weight loss that I desire so i tried another. I bought Orlistat. And it’s working fine with me. it’s taken before breakfast and once a day only. So it suits my lifestyle and body clock.  And I can feel that I’m losin’ weight already. Yay!

With all the money and the effort that I’ve given out, I deserve a result, a better result. Lord help me. 

Who is Hekate?

 

HEKATE (or Hecate) was the goddess of magic, witchcraft, the night, moon, ghosts and necromancy. She was the only child of the Titanes Perses and Asteria from whom she received her power over heaven, earth, and sea.

Hekate assisted Demeter in her search for Persephone, guiding her through the night with flaming torches. After the mother-daughter reunion became she Persephone’s minister and companion in Haides.

Two metamorphosis myths describe the origins of her animal familiars: the black she-dog and the polecat (a mustelid house pet kept to hunt vermin). The bitch was originally the Trojan Queen Hekabe, who leapt into the sea after the fall of Troy and was transformed by the goddess into her familiar. The polecat was originally the witch Gale who was transformed into the beast to punish her for her incontinence. Other say it was Galinthias, the nurse of Alkmene, transformed by the angry Eileithyia, but received by Hekate as her animal.

Hekate was usually depicted in Greek vase painting as a woman holding twin torches. Sometimes she was dressed in a knee-length maiden’s skirt and hunting boots, much like Artemis. In statuary Hekate was often depicted in triple form as a goddess of crossroads.

Hekate was identified with a number of other goddesses, including Artemis and Selene (Moon), the Arkadian Despoine, the sea-goddess Krataeis, the goddess of the Taurian Khersonese (of Skythia), the Kolkhian Perseis, and Argive Iphigeneia, the Thracian goddesses Bendis and Kotys, Euboian Maira (the dog-star), Eleusinian Daeira and the Boiotian Nymphe Herkyna.

 

Why did i make an entry about Hekate? it’s my new team. Yeah, nothing in this world is constant except for “change”. New TL (which is not bad because P is a friend); new teammates and hopefully new friendship. Good luck! ☺

No Smoking!

 

Yesterday, after shift, we went to Tropical Hut near Makati Med for breakfast. That is my sup’s favorite place for binge whenever she craves for toast & eggs.

It was a usual happy breakfast. After that, we went out of to smoke. You know, it feels good to smoke when you’re full from a heavy breakfast. After puffing out the stick, I looked left & right for a trash can, nowhere in sight. I casually threw the butt.

 

And so hugged each other goodbye, beso-beso-muah-muah, and I asked a guy friend to help us cross the road because we are gonna take the bus on the other side.

 

As I stepped out of the railings, this old man in cheap barong called my attention. He said, “Psst, halika dito. Oo, ikaw halika.”  See, the barong he was wearing could not hide the illiteracy in him. Would you just use “psst” to call somebody’s attention? I immediately went to him and asked why. He didn’t explain, he just asked for my ID. I already knew it was about the cigarette butt that I threw. I didn’t gave him my ID. And my friends came to me. They all came tio my rescue.

 

The two other Hepa Boys who was with the dirty-old-man were telling me that they had to issue me a ticket, confiscate my ID and just go to the municipal hall to redeem it. Ano ko kotse?!

After 15 minutes of struggle to save my ID, I won! And I can’t just let them harass me that way, for a lot of reasons:

• The dirty-old-man doesn’t have an ID.
• If it was an ordinance, they should have posted a sign that states the rules with the ordinance number.  It’s in the books of law. They can’t just stand there the whole day catching everybody who will throw butts. That’s stupid. They still have more important things to do.
• They should have cited me right there and then not to throw the butt there. They waited 10 minutes. What’s the purpose?
• They should not allow the vendors to sell cigarettes in that area if there is no trash can. Where are we gonna throw the butts? In my bag? Bago to noh!
• Traffic jam is from RCBC to Mayapis and the traffic light can’t take care of the jam anymore. So why waste your time being idiotic in that area, you should have strutted your asses to help managed the traffic! Nagkasilbi pa kau!

You can’t imagine how high my blood pressure was on that morning. I was like.. “ARRGGGHHH, is this all that you can do?” With all the taxes that I am paying? Is this the best that you can do?

 

And what’s funny is, just this afternoon when I passed by that area on my way to work, it was flooded with cigarette butts. Talk about consistency manong!